Tale of PLHIV Confidant

 Alohaaaaaa….. It is my offday today so decided to write a bit to expel all the spiderwebs in here. People tend to get confused between panic disorders and anxiety disorders. They are a family actually, under one big umbrella of anxiety disorder. First, we need to understand what is anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear. Anxiety disorder on the other hand is a mental illness of uncontrollable feelings of worry or fear even after the threat is gone.  Panic disorders are one of many types of anxiety disorders. Panic disorder is a mental illness where a person can get multiple panic attacks in a day or at a time. A panic attack has  physical and emotional symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, increased respiration, and feelings of extreme terror. It is very real to the person experiencing the panic attack. Imagine having it multiple times at a time or a day? I can't. The cause or trigger can be different from one person to another who experiencing the panic disorder. Mo...

Ola Everyone!!     People always look at crying as a symbol of weakness. It was thought of as a negative reaction. In fact crying is the earliest form of communication. Kita berkomunikasi dengan menangis masa kita baby dulu, ingat? We dont know how to communicate when we were born, and crying is the only method of communication at that time. Menangis tu macam satu tindak balas badan terhadap sesuatu perasaan (selalunya sedih la, gembira, terharu pun ada).  Ada orang yang tak menangis bertahun-tahun sampai dia lupa macam mana nak menangis. Sampai dia stuck, tak tahu macam mana nak express perasaan dia.. ada banyak sebab kenapa seseorang tu tak mampu nak menangis.. salah satu sebab adalah kerana post traumatic stress disorder dan major depressive disorder. Ada juga yang simpan dan 'mute'kan perasaan tu dalam2 sampai dia lupa cara nak menangis.  So, kenapa menangis ni penting? Apa kebaikan menangis ni? I dont know you, but I feel pity to people who cant cry.. because I ...

 Ola everyone!!!! While waiting for my bus to arrive, so I decided to write a bit lor in my blog... 🤣 A guy pm me, he is about in his early 20.. Just diagnosed with HIV.. Dia pm nak tanya kenapa dia muntah selepas makan Ubat HAART.. Dia risau sebab tak pernah dia muntah lepas makan ubat.. HAART is an anti retroviral therapy drugs.. It is best to take the medication masa perut kosong.. Rule of thumb, makan 2 jam selepas makan.. So kalau kena makan ubat pukul 10 pm pastikan makan malam sebelum pukul 8 malam.. Satu lagi, try to avoid oily and spicy food for the first 3 months on HAART.. Makanan berminyak ni tak bagus, but let's be frank, sape je yang xsuka makan ayam goreng mcd yang pedas tu?? Angkat tangan! 😂 Avoid oily and spicy food.. Bila dah stabil, makan la.. But, with caution OK.. As a Plhiv you will have routine medical checkup.. Kalau taknak kene sekolah ngan doktor ID, jaga makan ok.. U can eat oily and spicy food, moderately.. And again, should this issue persist do consu...

 Aloha.................................... Yikes, spiderwebs are everywhere.. hahaha.. It such a long time since my last post. I really want to write back but whoaaaa, so many things come up. But, I still advocate and also provide simple consultation for newly diagnose PLIHIV. Recently, I received multiple questions on the same issue. The side effect of HAART, more specifically rashes after consuming HAART. I would like to emphasize that the level of side effects can be differ from one person to another.. ada yang side effectnya macam-macam.. tapi hilang selepas 1 bulan on HAART. Ada yang sampai kesudah side effect tu ada setiap kali makan HAART. Lain-lain badan lain penerimaan ok.  So, mild rashes after consuming HAART specifically efavirenz (yellow tablet) are normal. Usually, the rashes will occur 2 weeks or so after consuming HAART. The rashes can be only arm or leg area or can be all over the body and slightly itchy. The rashes will go away after 2-3 weeks. Do apply calam...

 yeah, it has a been years and the blog is accumulating dust!! uhuk2! Alright, so many things happen, from my own personal life, my beeyefyef well being and many people around me. I got limited time to pour everything in the blog, so I guess I try to do some story telling in 1 post.. hahaha.. I dont know if this going to be a long post or short.. let's make the loooooooonnnngggggg story short. The most significantly is my beeyefyef well being. He had resigned from his previous job last February and was jobless for 6 months. I have tried my level best to be there for him, I sent him vacancies weekly and yeah, just be there (i guess my expertise, hehehe). He is currently suffering of some mental health issues, but i have my whole trust 1001% that he is managing it. He suffered of panic attacks, depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. He yet made it official by seeing psychiatrist but he knows his body best. I pray that he can made it official so that he can get proper care and ther...

 Dear Hawkeye, How are u? I really hope that you are fine anywhere you are.. Do you remember i have several special souls who came to me seeking for support when they were early diagnose? The one who having cd4 of 18.. Let me call him Ironman..  Today, his housing loan have been approved and i am beyond grateful.. I am so happy that he now able to own a house.. I am so proud to see how strong he grew in front of my eyes, from skinny lad 4 months ago and 1 million viral load, he is now striving in his career and now owning a house just like my other special soul over the south china sea (capt.america)... Hawkeye, i really want to share this happy news with you.. From you, Allah gives me strength to support others like you.. I want them to grow without any fear without any doubt that with HIV they are able to achieve their dreams.. You have proved it.. Ironman have proved it.. Capt america have proved it.. From you, Allah inspires me to support them, for me to learn that there a...

Aloha... Assalamualaikum... People always asked, what if i washed my clothes with my family, are they going to get infected? Do i get infected by mosquito bites? Something to ponder huh? I hope the above article answered your questions well.. So long i didnt wrote anything in this blog.. There are a lot happening.. Dont worry, everything is ok.. It was a prayer that have been answered.. Ups and down, Hawkeye was there helping me out, giving me support that i need most from a bestie.. Eventhough it will not be as the same as before, i do grateful with our friendship.. I pray everyday for his day to be ease and each of his sins to be forgiven by Allah.. I pray everyday for him to be strong.. I guess Allah is answering my prayers a bit by a bit.. Nothing more that i ask from all my reader to pray the same for my buddy, as well as everyone affected by HIV.. It never been easy, but we can do something for those solus who are affected.. I have soooooooo much t...

Alhamdulillah... Cerepen pertama (kedua sebenarnya) dinaikkan di Arkib Angker Negara. Pelbagai reaksi, malah komen boleh dilihat menggambarkan tahap kesedaran (tak signifikan pun sebab terlampau sedikit) tentang HIV dikalangan masyarakat Malaysia. Disini, aku lampirkan cerpen buat tatapan semua. InsyaAllah akan cuba hasilkan lebih banyak lagi. Orang kata pena juga berkuasa, bisa merubah dunia. Permudahkanlah untukku Ya Allah. AKU SAHABATMU (Karya Khas Tentang Kesedaran HIV) Penulis: Anonymous Blog: http://plhivconfidant.blogspot.com/ ======================= Di keheningan malam... Termenung ku berseorang... Tak lena mata dipejam... Terdengar suara terngiang... Suara merdu yang disayang.. Bagai kau di depan mata... Iskandar masih berjaga, matanya sukar sungguh untuk dilelapkan malam ini. Mungkin kesan sampingan ubat yang diambil setiap hari. Terkadang mata itu mudah dijinakkan, tapi malam ini bagaikan disendal batang lidi kelopak mata itu. Fikiran Iskandar merewan...

Assalamualaikum... I guess i am not strong enough to support my best friend... I tought i have collected enough strength... But, i cried today... Today, i came to the office... Hawkeye is on off day today... Sit at his place seing his ceramic bowl, that sad feeling just come without being invited.... I keep telling myself that i should let him find his happiness... Thousand times... He deserve to be happy.. He is a good man.. Me being around dosent help much since he still have his self stigma.. I understand, it is not easy to accept the fact... I dont know what hapoen to me if i am at his shoes... I really hope that i can help at least support... But i dont think so he need me to be around... Me reminds him that he is sick.. And i dont think he likes that.. He wants to be just like other normal peeps... And seeing me will trigger him that i know he is not well... I always question myself, why me... Why do i have so much compassion and that deep feelings to him... Allah knows...

Aloha…. We meet again… a motivation as introduction… WE CAN CHOOSE TO BE ORDINARY, AT TIMES ALLAH SHOWS US PATH TO BE EXTRAORDINARY… THE PATH MAY FULL OF THORNS, PAIN, TEARS AND TRIALS… BUT HE PROMISED US THERE WILL BE RAINBOW WAITING AT THE END OF THE PATH… HIS PROMISE IS REAL… PICK A PATH AND PUT OUR HOPES IN ALLAH…  To my dearest special souls, God shows you a path to be extra ordinary… A path to be a superhero not only to you, for your loved ones as well for others… Not everyone got a chance to be a special soul… it is a blessing in disguise… It is a first step for a better best YOU…  Yes, it is easy for me to say all this… I am not PLHIV, you may think I don’t understand what you are feeling right now… How hard it is, how difficult it is… Only YOU can feel it… But, I am a best friend of PLHIV and from him the special soul I got the inspiration to write… To motivate others… Why?? Because I want my Hawkeye to be happy, I want a world without stigma for h...