Ironman

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 Dear Hawkeye,


How are u? I really hope that you are fine anywhere you are..


Do you remember i have several special souls who came to me seeking for support when they were early diagnose? The one who having cd4 of 18.. Let me call him Ironman.. 


Today, his housing loan have been approved and i am beyond grateful.. I am so happy that he now able to own a house.. I am so proud to see how strong he grew in front of my eyes, from skinny lad 4 months ago and 1 million viral load, he is now striving in his career and now owning a house just like my other special soul over the south china sea (capt.america)...


Hawkeye, i really want to share this happy news with you.. From you, Allah gives me strength to support others like you.. I want them to grow without any fear without any doubt that with HIV they are able to achieve their dreams.. You have proved it.. Ironman have proved it.. Capt america have proved it.. From you, Allah inspires me to support them, for me to learn that there are people who is having much more tougher time than me..


Hawkeye, i know u are not comfortable me treating you differently.. Since i know u are a plhiv.. Am sorry, i cant help it to be concern about you.. But i try my level best to act as normal as i can as i want you to be comfortable with me.. I love sharing stories  with you because of your honest view and listening ears.. That is what i value about you..


Sometimes i wondering if Allah wants to give me a chance to support someone like i supposed to support you.. Honestly, Hawkeye, i regret that i am not able to be by ur side to support.. Eventhough i know u are struggling.. I would love too, but since u said u hate people asking about your health.. So, i am being selfish.. I rather see my buddy suffering rather than directly supporting you.. just because i dont want you to hate me.. It is so hard for me to see your sad face till i decided to be invisible.. So that you wont feel uncomfortable with me around knowing that i know your condition.. I only dare to post motivational quotes and spreading HIV awareness on my socmed.. Hoping that you will read it somehow.. Just because i dont wanna loose another best friend.. I regret it so much until i made the decision to help anyone who is having same concern as you are.. That is the least i can do  as my part to help, eventhough not directly to you..


My dear friend, you are precious.. To me.. Your presence means so much and one of the reason of what i am becoming now.. Much more better person InsyaAllah.. I cant ever be grateful enough to know you.. Alhamdulillah.. Those memories will always be remembered..


May the friendship last till jannah.. 

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