Distant..

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Assalamualaikum..

Good morning everyone.. Hawkeye have gone back to his hometown.. Yep, raya is coming soon and he got akikah as well for his beloved niece..

Me? Usually i dont take raya haji leave.. Working in a team which most of us are muslims requires some give and take.. So lets the others go for leave.. My hometown is nearby only.. Its ok..

Distant.. It have been 2 months since me and hawkeye not in texting term.. But we do see each other in the office.. He usually dosent start conversations.. Ill be the one asking him if he had his breakie or lunch.. He sometimes warmth, sometimes cold.. Sometimes when i look into those eyes, i can see the sorrow..

I wouldnt dare to ask him, if he is ok or not.. If he have taken his medications and all.. I dont want him to hate me since he had said before he hates people asking about his health condition.. I never see him differently since i know his health issue.. Ok lah, the concern part is a bit heavy.. But, i believe it is normal for a friend to be very concern since he is having illness..

And it is not just normal flu fever what not.. Maybe it is too much for him.. He got so many things to think off.. Maybe seeing my face at the office ring his bell that he is sick.. Since i knew.. Maybe he wouldnt want to depend on anyone support as he afraid of losing it.. Or he just refused to burden anyone with his condition...

He once said i am overthinking.. Which i think he is the one doing the overthinking.. Ive catch him browsing through hospice care without he realizes.. Which litterally broke my heart... Why bother to check on hospice care buddy, when you are having family and friend that really care about you? I know, his family yet know his condition.. It is hell hard for him to come out and to see his family reaction.. I know.. But i am here right.. Ill be lending my hand.. Maybe we can think of something else..

Hmmmmmm... Maybe its true.. I am overthinking.. He is trying very hard to survive, i should support him on that.. I know he saving money.. He didnt do things he likes anymore.. He dosent splurge on his hobby.. For example, he loves watching movie and usually he will go for indulge hall.. But i see he is not doing that anymore.. Eventhough the watching experience a bit jeopardize...

Do you think i am overthinking??
Or i am being a bitchy friend who cant understand a friend needs??

Tell me.. I would like to hear it from you guys..

Alrighty, as a thank you note listen to this.. I hope you like it!
https://www.smule.com/p/2114132267_3083610467

Lastly, selamat hari raya Aidiladha.. Drive safely..

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